2020 thoughts



2020 the year I lost both my gramma and grampa in the midst of a pandemic. The year our studio and every small business not considered “essential” by the government shut down for 4 months or more. Business owners left terrified of what would happen next. People left terrified of a virus spreading rapidly.


A crucial debate of black or white and who’s lives matter. The year we masked up, but unmasked our true identities when things got tough or someone didn’t share the same views as us. The loss of lives, the loss of jobs, loss of mental health, loss of sanity, loss of taste for some, loss of kindness, loss of love. You could say 2020 was a big loss, but I think we’d be lying if we said it was all loss and no gain.

You see because 2020 was also the year a lot of us quiet people finally found the courage to create our own opinions and deal with conflict head on. For us “no conflict”people we’d rather ride in the middle where there’s no conflict and no debate, until not having an opinion became worse than having an opinion; so we were forced outside of our comfort zone, gaining and creating boundaries, maybe some of us going beyond our boundaries and burning some bridges trying to prove that we too can be a strong opinionated person (oops 🤷🏼‍♀️) it’s a learning process. It’s great to be passionate about some topics isn’t it!? You could say this year was quite the learning experience for ALL of us.


But look what we gained. Man did we gain even though we lost.


As we wrap up 2020, I watched a lot of us this year gain more confidence in our salvation. The year many of us studied the Bible more than we ever have, learned and grew like never before because we were forced to sit still and be present. The year a lot of us finally let go and gave everything to God and watched as miracles formed around us. The year we had church in a massive parking lot while people worshipped in their cars..


The year many of us gained more friendships than we ever have in our entire lifetime and created memories and moments that are irreplaceable. The year we started to gain appreciation of the small things like grabbing coffee with a friend, playing sports or having Christmas with our family all in one house. The year we gained creativity and hobbies and a new love for so many different things. The year we gained more love for the people we hold so dearly to our hearts. The year we wore sweatpants on the bottom and a dress top on top while we worked from home. The year our world fell apart but also gained by coming together.


For me personally, it was the year I gained control of eating, the year I lost 26 pounds, the year I gained dreams and the energy to finally execute them. The year I lost myself in all the things God was calling me to do. Wow. Finally I took the time to hear Him when the world fell silent. Was that the plan all along?


The year I lost control of how day to day life would be, I lost track of time and days and gained inner peace knowing the one who holds the earth is quite creative and impeccable so I stopped worrying all together. You see we may have lost more things than we can count on one hand... but oh did we gain. And great things we did gain.


My hope for 2021 is that we keep getting better at loving people unconditionally even if they don’t have the same Worldly views and opinions as us. I pray 2021 is the year we stop seeing skin color and rather see the colors of our hearts and listen intently to how each of our hearts beat. That we stop debating politics and start debating how we can love better.

Because as we learned this past year, life is not black and white as some may think it is. We all have voices and opinions, comments and debates to be shared and all of us want to be heard, but what else can we give to the world besides our opinions? What can we gain by losing ourselves in all the things happening around us? I hope this next year, pushes us to love outside of our comfort zone, cherish every moment even deeper than the last and live each day like it’s the last day we’ll be alive.


So as we close this year, I hope 2020 has prepared you, strengthened you, stretched you, molded you to become even greater, more purposeful, loving and more kind. ❤️ -Saphire

© 2021 by Saphire Brown.